Once in a while, despite the ability to rationalize just about anything I get hit by something so overwhelming that I shut down. I lose the ability to write, I love the drive to move, and all that is left is a shell. In reality, what has happened is I have been overloaded, and am temporarily unable to control how and what I feel.

   Being autistic is a bit like being a faucet that is on full, constantly filling to the point of overflow. I feel so much more than a great many of those around me. I can't control it so much as I can guide it. When my circuit breaker gets tripped all the self control that I have learned over the years just goes away. All the walls and barriers that I use to keep me safe are gone.

   When I get hit that hard, the only thing I can do to have a chance to heal is to shut down. Maybe that is where people get that autistics are emotionless. We just shut down for a little while to come to terms with whatever is going on. Sometimes it is very lonely, to be who I am. Sometimes, as in this article I am blessed with a way to be someone different for a while.

   There are bright spots, people who through their actions more so than any words they could say prove that you don't stand alone. There are those few who will stand up, and say enough! Trixi Velvet (winter.ventura) is one of these people.

   I first met her  while wandering around looking at AV. She had an affiliate vendor located in this little store. I saw her robotic AV and immediately had to have it.It was a short av, not a child but not exactly towering over anyone else. She had a gentle face, but no emotion. She was apart and different and she matched what I felt inside me. Here was a form that showed everyone what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Gentle, but apart.

   I contacted her creator, and when I learned the story of the AV my respect and admiration for the designer grew in proportion to what I felt for her creation. She created the AV I had found during a period in Second Life when child av's were being penalized for the idiotic and perverted behavior of others. It was no fault of their own that the wolves found them, stalked them but often it is the prey that takes the hurt for the hunter.

   She got tired of seeing innocent people, who just wanted to live as they chose without being ridiculed or used hurt. She was annoyed by the ban lines and height requirements for av suddenly blocking these innocents from their world. In a show of solidarity she created the robot avs that I had found. There was no way to call them child AV, they were machines. She showed those that were being trod upon that they weren't alone.

   While I realize this isn't a review of the bot itself but of the creator, someone who is willing to invest the time, energy and feeling into a cause not her own because she believed it right to do so demands attention, even if it is a couple years late in coming.

This woman spends her days building some of the fantastical creations, and I would bet that each has a story and life of its own. It is this writers suggestion you visit her stores, find something that strikes your fancy, and help support her work. Maybe, just maybe she will share the story of your favorite of her creations with you as well.

For now, this is Medeena wishing you all happy shopping and may all your clothes fit you right off the rack!